The Ones You Can't Have

This is classic. A ubiquitous situation. An experience that everyone not only goes through, but deep down a situation that everyone prefers. And they prefer it because they love the chase. They love the challenge of achieving something that is unobtainable. It requires breaking social norms, ignoring staggering odds, and disregarding written rules, policies, and ethics.

 

The girl with the boyfriend. The married woman. The friend's sister or cousin. Your boss. Your co-worker. Your subordinate. Your doctor. Your teacher. Your roommate. The one a little bit too old or a little bit too young. The one that won't give it up until marriage. The lesbian. The one that is your second cousin's cousin so you're not really sure if you're blood-related or not but you'd really like to find out.

 

They are the forbidden fruits. And they're forbidden because they taste SO good, but it's SO wrong. Sometimes.

 

Forbidden fruits I've tasted: The girl with the boyfriend (twice, oops, don't hurt me). The friend's sister or cousin (it was the cousin). My subordinate (lost my virginity to that one). The one that won't give it up until marriage (she didn't give it up, but she came DAMN close, and god it was worth it). The lesbian (she didn't seem like one in bed). The one that is your second cousin's cousin so you're not really sure if you're blood-related or not but you'd really like to find out (we found out, and we weren't, so we got together. Twice).

 

One might say I'm addicted to the forbidden fruits, but who wouldn't be? Everyone loves a sexy story. After the ones I've listed above that I've achieved, that leaves: The married woman (I won't go there, I have boundaries), my teacher (not likely to have a teacher at this point in my life), my boss (have yet to have a hot boss), the co-worker (although the subordinate kind of counts), the one that's a little bit too young or old (willing to give this a shot, as long as it's legal), and then there's...

 

...the doctor.

 

At the moment, I have an extremely hot therapist. Several months ago, my fifty year old therapist was laid off, and my case was transferred to this young, blonde-haired, conservative Jewish woman with a body that I have a lot of difficulty not staring at during our sessions.

 

She's also sweet as can be and doesn't wear a ring. I checked. Now, I know that it's not really ethical to be dating, or even consider dating, the person that is trying to help you through any psychological issues, but a person wants what a person wants. And I want her. I even told her this. After about three sessions, I let her know that I needed to be completely honest with her in the sessions, so I said, flat out, "I'm very attracted to you."

 

I thought she would immediately refer me to another therapist and I'd have to start the whole damn process over again. Fact of the matter was, though, I couldn't keep it locked up inside of me. Not in therapy. I need to be able to say whatever I want to her. Surprisingly, she didn't refer me to someone else. She asked me if I'd like to be referred to someone else if I wasn't comfortable talking to her. And I said..."No, uh...I'd like to keep seeing you."

 

So I've kept seeing her. And every session we continue to look each other dead in the eye.

 

I have no idea how to approach this. But the cogs are turning. She's actually really good at what she does, and it helps me, so it's not something I really want to ruin...but what if there's something even better?

 

I'll keep you updated. This may be one of those that I really can't have. But, as she has taught me, I don't give myself enough credit. I've got to think positively. :)

 

-Riley out.